Don't Visit My Church

Every Sunday, many churches have guests visit their church. Either we are ready for the guest when they arrive, or we are not. We never get a second chance to make a first impression. I want to share some ways to ensure guests have a horrible experience at our churches.

1. Don't have anyone in the parking lot to greet them or to assist them.

2. Have greeters at the front door who never smile and never brush their teeth. Be sure they give guests the impression that they wish they would have never shown up.

3. Don't have large, easy-to-read and understandable signs in high traffic areas of your building.

4. Make sure your bathrooms stink, the trash cans are full and you are out of soap and paper towels. It's very important that you don't tidy up the restrooms in between services.

5. Make sure your ushers sit all of the first time guests in the front row of the church. Every guest loves to parade down the aisle in front of the entire church.