Keeping The Sanity

Thoughts From Tiffany Cooper

Life can get overwhelming if you don’t set boundaries for yourself. I am a wife. I am a mother to 3 kids ages 4, 3 and 1, plus our 4^th baby is due this July. I am also a pastor’s wife to an amazing church. I had to become very deliberate about my schedule a little over a year ago in order to protect my emotional and physical health.

5 things that help me keep the sanity…

1. Family Time. I love having time with Herbert. Quantity and quality time are important to our relationship. Herbert has always made family time a top priority, and I am a better wife because of it.
2. Alone Time. I started having a sitter to stay with the kids once a week, so I could enjoy “me time” without hearing “mommy” non-stop. This time allows me to go places I can’t with the kids, and I come home feeling refreshed mentally.
3. Letting Go. I quickly realized I had to let go of my perfectionism. It was unrealistic to think that I could have a perfectly clean home at all times. I had to take time to stop and breathe even if laundry had to be done. I had to learn to say no even if it was a good thing. There are only 24 hours in a day, and I am only one woman.
4. Ministry. Herbert has always made decisions based on whether it’s the best thing for me. He doesn’t require more of me as a pastor’s wife than he does our church family. Behind Christ, I am his wife first, the mother of our kids second and committed to ministry third. He helps balance me because I would go and do and end up feeling drained.
5. I eat chocolate! Women, can I get an Amen!

Church Planting…Paying the Price

Thoughts From Tiffany Cooper

The idea of church planting sounds glamorous and adventurous, but like many things in life, the reality is much different. While it is great, the price you pay can’t be understood until you’ve been through it yourself. You will work like you have never worked before. At the start of People's Church, we had to be all things in all situations to all people at all times. In our 6 years as a church, I have felt occasional discomfort while navigating through change and growing pains. The greatest change I have experienced throughout the growth of People’s Church is the way people interact with and view me.

At the start of People’s Church, I felt personally connected with everyone. As we grew, it was impossible to know everyone. People began to refer to me as “Pastor’s Wife” instead of “Tiffany”. There were times I felt more alone in the middle of a hundred people than I did by myself. I had to transition from being personally connected to a small group of people to meeting wonderful church attendees for the first time at the grocery store. I’ve made the adjustment successfully, but it was difficult at first.

There Is A Price to Pay

Thoughts From Tiffany Cooper

There is a price to pay, everything has a price. People have often commented that everything seems to come easy for Herbert and me. What they don’t see is the price we paid from the very beginning of our marriage to get where we are today. We have always been extremely deliberate about the goals and principles we live by in our daily life.

1. We established extreme boundaries to protect the health and growth of our marriage.
2. We made a commitment to live debt-free (except for our home which we are working to pay off) and maintain a working budget. We have always lived below our means. I remember struggling with the idea of buying a $20 pair of work pants our first year of marriage.
3. We worked hard from day one. I went to school full-time while working part-time, and Herbert worked as a substitute teacher for several months while traveling as an evangelist.
4. Our life seems radical to some, but everything we do is for the purpose of pleasing God and fulfilling what He has called us to do individually and as a family.

But you get what you pay for. I have been married to my best friend for over 10 years, and we are still fierce about protecting our marriage. Living debt-free gives us incredible freedom; it’s enabled us to give more away each year. In fact, living debt-free allowed us to finance the start of People’s Church. And yes, we still work hard!!!

My Role As A Pastor's Wife pt. 2

Thoughts From Tiffany Cooper

3. Outsider. I went from being in the inner circle to feeling like the outsider. I was no longer “in the know” about everything. It was hard to accept that others would know more than I did and that others would be more involved than me.

I spent many moments talking with God about my struggles. It was easy to know my true identity and purpose in my mind, but it took a year for it to be solidified in my heart. I had to truly accept who I was in Christ, not the roles I liked to wear like a badge of honor. It is freeing to feel the deep conviction that my first priority behind my walk with Christ is to be Herbert’s wife. My days are dedicated to raising my precious kids and instilling a love for God in their hearts. I serve in the children’s ministry every Sunday and attend a Community Group. I truly love this season of my life and would not change one thing! Besides, I’m confident that my best years of ministry are still ahead!

My Role As A Pastor’s Wife pt. 1

Thoughts From Tiffany Cooper

What is the role of a pastor’s wife? Thankfully, there is not a “one size fits all” mold for pastors’ wives. When we started People’s Church 6 years ago, I put every ounce of my energy into serving in any capacity I could. I loved it! When my first son was born, I went through a difficult transition that altered my role as pastor’s wife.

I had to work through 3 issues:

1. Identity. Who am I? I realized that I found a great deal of identity in being ultra-involved in ministry. Once Cale was born my involvement decreased dramatically, and I found myself questioning who I was. I was no longer a full-time English teacher, children’s church teacher, small group leader…the list goes on.

2. Purpose. What impact do I have on the Kingdom as a stay-at-home mom? I struggled with feeling insignificant. How could I make a difference if I was at home doing the “mommy thing” all day? My time felt wasted.

MORE ON TUESDAY

Church Leaders You Need On Your Radar Screen pt. 4

Konan Stephens

I became familiar with Konan at a youth camp. I was the speaker, and he was a crazy youth pastor. A year or so later, I preached for Konan at a youth convention when I was a full-time evangelist and he was the state youth director. Konan is a very humble leader. I have always appreciated his humble spirit. Konan is also a great leader. He began C3 Church in November 2006. The church is located in Pinkerton, Ohio. The congregation began in a vacant 10 year old church building that was given to them along with some debt. This is a young congregation that seeks to bring forth the life-changing message of Jesus Christ in a very relevant and practical way. They do this through their simple discipleship process of "Connect, Grow, Serve." The church is already running around 300 people in 3 Sunday services.

Konan is an all around great guy who is flat out getting it done. You need to put Konan Stephens on your radar screen.

Website: www.myC3church.com

Konan's blog: www.C3blog.com

Church Leaders You Need On Your Radar Screen pt. 3

Aaron Cole

I'm familiar with Aaron Cole because our Programming Director is good friends with him. Aaron also used to be an Associate Pastor at a church in the Tulsa area. Aaron became Senior Pastor of Life Church in Germantown, Wisconsin, in December 2002. Germantown is a suburb of Milwaukee. Life Church began in September of 2000. The church has experienced incredible growth under Aaron's leadership. The church was running around 100 in attendance when Aaron became the Senior Pastor and today is running around 600 in attendance. The congregation currently meets in a converted strip mall that they own. They are in the process of adding a student center, office wing and a 400 seat auditorium. This church is getting it done!

I have been able to spend time with Aaron on several occasions, and he is a very sharp leader and pastor. You need to put Aaron Cole on your radar screen.

Website: www.lifechurchgermantown.com

Church Leaders You Need On Your Radar Screen pt.2

Tommy Sparger

Tommy is one of my closest friends. We met over six years ago at a church planters’ boot camp and immediately hit it off. We talk at least once a week on the phone. He has been a huge encouragement and friend to me. North Point Church in Springfield, Missouri, is flat out getting it done. North Point Church was mothered by another church in Springfield, MO. I think this is the best way to start a church. You have immediate finances and people, but you have to be a good leader to be able to manage and lead it on day one. North Point began on September 7, 2003, with over 800 in attendance. THAT'S THE WAY TO START A NEW CHURCH! They bought land off a major interstate six months after launching and began building their first building. They moved into their first facility when they were only 1 1/2 years old. They began building their second phase, which included a 1000 seat auditorium, when they were three years old and moved into that facility when they were four years old. North Point Church currently runs 2300 in three Sunday services. They are reaching tons of un-churched and de-churched people.

Tommy is a very creative and innovative leader. You need to put Tommy Sparger on your radar screen.

Website: http://www.northpointnow.org/

Church Leaders You Need On Your Radar Screen

David Crosby

David has been a very close ministry friend over the past 4 years. He is one of the sharpest leaders I know. He is one of the guys I call when I need advice. He is also very smart. The dude is actually Dr. David Crosby. He can think circles around me. Dave is also one of the most humble leaders you will ever meet.

Dave started Pocono Community Church in 2003. God has done wonderful things in a short period of time. PCC is running 1100 in Sunday morning attendance. UNBELIEVABLE! The church is located in Mt. Pocono, Pennsylvania. That's right, he is tearing it up on the east coast. Super UNBELIEVABLE! PCC has over 40 nations represented in the congregation (around 60 percent black and spanish and 40 percent white). That my friend is a diverse church! PCC is currently meeting in a school. They have recently bought land and are in the process of building a 30,000 square foot facility.

You need to put Dave Crosby on your radar screen.

Website www.poconocc.com

David's Blog www.davidcrosby.blogspot.com

Random Thoughts

1. The Hornets lost to the Spurs last night. The series is now tied 3-3. Game seven is in New Orleans. GO HORNETS!

2. The kids and I are watching Pinky Dinky Doo right now.

3. Cale is laying on me right now, and my arms are wrapped around him typing up my blog.

4. A few minutes ago, Cale gave his sister the balloon he was playing with so I asked him where he got such a great heart from. He told me, "Because of God." Pretty profound answer for my four year old boy.

5. Cale is still sitting in my lap, and he just said, "Dad, I love you a lot." Cade just came and got under the covers with us.

6. My mom has spent the last three nights at our home. She loves watching the grandkids play.

7. I am hosting a Church Planters Round Table starting on Monday. Looking forward to it. We have people coming from all across the nation.

8. This Sunday we conclude the series Deep. The following Sunday we are beginning a SUPER HOT SERIES titled Juicy Fruit.